Local Matters: Interview with Dr. Mary Faltz on sexual abuse

For 16 years, Mary Faltz was sexually abused by her father. Many years, four children and one cancer diagnose later, she decided to speak up about her experience and wrote a book about her life. Dr. Mary Faltz was our guest at “Local Matters”, in the interview, she talked about her book, about the trial that brought her abuser in jail, and about the message she wants to give to all victims and the public: Speak up, it’ll help.

When Mary Faltz started writing her book “Cruelly betrayed” in 2020, she did not expect the outcome. She just got out of surgery, life kicked her in the butt once again, when she heard her cancer was worse than expected. Mary started writing, wrote everything down that came into her mind, sent her finished book to an edition house and there it was, a testimonial that freed her and has given hope to others.

Today, she sits in our studio smiling, just as she is smiling on the cover of her book. Because “in Orange week and in every publication against sexual abuse of children, you always see these dark images, a little girl with the fist in front of her mouth, a child sitting next to a wall, her head between her knees”, she says. “But if you are already a victim in a horrible situation, you don’t want to see more sad victims on posters, you want to see a smile, hope, the hope of being happy.” Mary got her hope back fighting for it. She fought the injustice she experienced in her childhood and during her life, she fought four years during the trial that brought her father behind bars and for this one moment that freed her. “I have this victory. Seeing my abuser being handcoughed and being escorted to that shielded policevan, was the best day of my life.”

Out of his punishment and out of her own recovery, Mary drew much energy that, today, she wants to use to help others doing preventive empowerment work and engaging with other victims.

Listen to the whole interview here on aracityradio.com.

If you are in need of help, contact one of the following services:

For everyone:

SOS Détresse: Tel: 45 45 45

SCAS Service central d’assistance sociale: Tel: 47 58 21-1

For children and youth:

Police, Department Youth protection: Tel: 12321

ALUPSE: Tel: 26 18 48 1, www.alupse.lu

KannerJugend-Telefon: Tel: 116 111

L’Ombuds-Comité fir d’Rechter vum Kand (ORK) www.ork.lu

 For women:

Femmes en Détresse, Tel: 40 73 35

Local Matters: Interview on the criminal law for sexual offenders

In January, Diane Schaefers launched a petition (external link) for a revision of the criminal code on sexual offences which to date collected 4.586 signatures exceeding the minimum number to necessary to provoke a debate in the Chamber. Diane Schaefers is educationist in the psychotherapy practice lead by Kashayar Pazooki in Luxembourg, both were our guests in the studio.

The petition demands longer limitation terms, a reconsideration of the word “rape” as well as harsher sentences for offenders. In our interview, Diane Schaefers recalls the judgement in Liv Jeitz-Wampachs case: according to the article in the “Luxemburger Wort”, where she opened up, she was sexually abused as a teenager by her music-teacher who finally walked free because he had no previous offences on his criminal record. “We had patients sending the article to us saying this makes no sense, why file a report if the abuser comes free? This was the moment when we said, we need to do something, we need to talk about that, because it’s a big taboo and nobody even knows the law.”

According to the ministry of Justice, there have been 144 cases of sexual assault and 104 cases of rape in 2020. Psychotherapist Kashayar Pazooki estimates that the actual number is five to ten times higher since many victims do not file a report. Longer limitation periods could enable more victims to report the crime.   Often it takes a long time for the victims to remember and to realize what has happened to them, particularly for children and teenagers. Kashayar Pazooki explains: “Victims of sexual assault have a fragmented brain. The trauma has been so great that the prefrontal and frontal cortexes are fragmented and many of the important details of the event, they won’t remember yet. So, we have to do a lot of therapy until the hippocampus starts working again. We have to go to two or three years of therapy to have the patient prepared for the confrontation and to dive into trauma-therapy. It is impossible to go to the police, to sit down and give the police the necessary details about the event.” With the limitation periods currently in place, it is often too late to come out and to charge the abuser once the victims are finally able to take this step.

This is one issue that the Minister of Justice Sam Tanson stressed in her draft bill as well. Diane Schaefer’s petition and the draft bill have points in common, but still Schaefer is convinced: “I think the discussion in parliament would still be good.” According to her it is a step in the right direction, but “a lot of things that are supposed to change concern abuse or rape of kids, but what about when you’re adult, when you’re 18?” Her petition as well as the draft bill demand: more protection for minors as well as adults, a stricter definition of consent, more time to process, and finally, break the taboo about sexual assault, abuse and rape.